Every year, except those when I forget, I update a secular Christmas song so it better fits the circumstances of the world in which we live. (I don’t do this with the Christmas songs in our hymnbook because they are timeless.) This year I feel that “Jingle Bells” needs updating. Riding in a one-horse open sleigh may be fun, but it is an extreme sport that most of us will never experience. Here goes:
Three months or so ago, I walked into a mall;
The stores were having Christmas sales, it was barely even fall.
Sales force was lean and lank, verboseness seemed their lot;
They gave me their best Yuletide pitch
And Wow! I bought a lot.
Oh, jingle bells, Christmas sales, cards from far away.
Oh what fun it is to sell unwanted gifts on E-Bay.
Jingle bells, tip the scales, how much do you weigh?
Fruitcake has a jillions carbs, eat some every day! - DJ
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