Pastor’s Column 6-24-2012

Pastor’s Column. A man was driving along a country road when a rabbit jumped out in front of his car. The man hit it. Being a sensitive animal lover, the man pulled over, examined the dead rabbit, and began to cry.


A woman driving by stopped her car and asked the man why he was crying. “I killed the Easter bunny with my car.”

“Don’t worry,” the woman said. She ran back to her car, pulled out a spray can, walked over to the dead rabbit, and sprayed the contents on him.

The Easter bunny immediately jumped up, waved its paw at the two of them, and hopped off down the road. Then the bunny stopped, turned around, and waved again. He stopped and waved several more times before he disappeared out of sight.

The astonished man asked the woman, “What’s in the can that you sprayed on the Easter bunny?”

The woman showed the man the label on the can. It said, “Hair spray. Restores life to dead hair and adds permanent wave.

(It wouldn’t have worked had the woman known how to spell.) -DJ

Pastor's Column June 17, 2012

 As we think about gifts for Father’s Day, here are a couple of gifts that dads have received lately.

     A lady came down with cancer. At first she responded with fear and depression. But then she had an experience of God that led her to say, “Today I do not pray for a cure for myself. I pray that God will help someone find a cure for cancer so that the thousands who come after me will profit and benefit from that cure.”

     She herself had only one prayer… that she would live as fully one day at a time as she could. Her last act was to ask her husband for a paper and pencil. He thought she wanted to write her will. Instead, she wrote down simple recipes he could use to feed their children.

      And don’t you know that violinist Philippe Quint’s dad felt that he had received an incredible Father’s Day present! Philippe left his 285-year-old Stradivarius in a taxi on a ride home from the Newark Airport. (This in spite of his dad telling him time and time again not to carry a violin case in New Jersey. “People will think you’re a gangster!”)  Cabbie Mohamed Khalil discovered the $4 million instrument and returned it to Quint. This not only made Philippe’s dad ecstatic that he didn’t have to shell out for another, but made Philippe so happy that he performed a free lunchtime concert for 200 New Jersey cabbies.

      Ties, golf balls, and fly rods aren’t the only gifts that fathers treasure. -DJ

Pastor's Column June 3, 2012

The following is the story of a radio communication between a U.S.  ship and an unidentified maritime contact off the coast of Newfoundland.

Naval ship: Please divert your course 15 degrees north to avoid a collision.

Maritime Contact: Recommend you divert your course 25 degrees south to avoid collision.

Naval ship: This is the captain of the ship. I say again, divert your course.

Maritime Contact: No, I say again, you divert your course.

Naval ship: This is the aircraft carrier USS Lincoln. We are accompanied by three destroyers, three cruisers, and numerous support vessels. I demand that you change your course 15 degrees north or countermeasures will be taken to ensure the safety of this ship.

Maritime Contact: We’re a lighthouse. Your call.

     Whether or not this story actually occurred, it makes a great point about making assumptions. Some assumptions can sink your ship.  -DJ