Pastor’s Column March 25, 2012

 PARAPROSDOKIANS  are figures of speech, in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected and frequently humorous. My friend Sheila Tryk recently sent me these:

1.  Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
2.  The last thing I want to do is hurt you, but it's still on my list.
3.  Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
4.  If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
5.  We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
6.  War does not determine who is right — only who is left.
7.  Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it In a fruit salad.
8.  They begin the evening news with “Good Evening,” then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
9.  To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
10. Buses stop in bus stations. Trains stop in train stations. On my desk is a work station.      - DJ

Pastor’s Column March 18, 2012

To accompany this week’s

Sermon about the folly of

Arrogance, the following:

I'm A Christian
          by Maya Angelou

When I say ... "I am a Christian,"
I'm not shouting "I'm clean livin'."
I'm whispering "I was lost,
Now I'm found and forgiven."

When I say ..."I am a Christian,"
I don't speak of this with pride.
I'm confessing that I stumble,
And need CHRIST to be my guide.

When I say ... "I am a Christian,"
I'm not trying to be strong.
I'm professing that I'm weak,
And need HIS strength to carry on.
      
When I say ... "I am a Christian,"
I'm not bragging of success.
I'm admitting I have failed,
 And need God to clean my mess.

When I say ... "I am a Christian,"
I'm not claiming to be perfect.
My flaws are far too visible,
But God believes I am worth it.

When I say ... "I am a Christian,"
I still feel the sting of pain.
I have my share of heartaches,
So I call upon His name.

When I say ... "I am a Christian,"
I’m not holier than thou.
I'm just a simple sinner
Who received God's good grace somehow.                                                    

-DJ

Pastor's Column March 11, 2012

       A man visited a church during Lent. He parked his car and started toward the front entrance. Another car pulled up nearby, and the irritated driver said, "I always park there. You took my place!" The visitor went inside and found that Sunday school was about to begin. He found an adult class and sat down. A class member approached and said, "That's my seat! You took my place!"

      After Sunday school, the visitor went into the sanctuary and sat down in an empty pew. Within moments another member walked up to him and said, "That's where I always sit. You took my place!"  The service then started. The choir was excellent, and the sermon title that morning was, “Jesus Died on the Cross.”

      Later, the pastor greeted the man as he was going out the sanctuary. “Pastor,” he said, “I don’t think you needed to preach that sermon.”

     “What do you mean?” asked the pastor.

     “The congregation knows it backward and forward. Before you even started the service, everyone I met said, ‘You took my place.’”  -DJ

Pastor's Column March 4, 2012

       When comedian Yakov Smirnoff first came to the United States from Russia, he was shocked by the number of “instant products” available in American grocery stores. He says, "On my first shopping trip, I saw powdered milk--you just add water, and you get milk. Then I saw powdered orange juice--you just add water, and you get orange juice. And then I saw baby powder, and I thought to myself, ‘What a country!’"

         What Smirnoff did not see, although many people look for it, is a product called “Powdered Christian.” Many assume that maturity in the faith is quick and easy. But there is no quick fix for sin, our estrangement from God, other people, self, and the created world. We cannot simply go to church, add the water of baptism, and suddenly experience substantive changes of habits, attitudes, and character. Growth in Christ’s likeness is a struggle from baptism onward. 

         Followers of Jesus Christ are not instantly transformed. We are slowly formed by increased understanding of our faith and increased reliance on our faith as we face trial, sacrifice, suffering, and temptation. A study has found that only 11 percent of churchgoing teenagers have a well-developed faith. This increases to only 32 percent for churchgoing adults, although so few teens are now active in church that this percentage will most likely decrease. It is time for all congregations to develop an environment in which followers of Jesus can mature. 

At Grace we have the Five Core Commitments to help. One, worship regularly. Two, invite others to church, share the good news of Jesus Christ. Three, give sacrificially. Four, volunteer as God has gifted you. And five, engage in prayer and Bible study throughout the week.    -DJ