Like many organizations, the church has a vocabulary that is largely its own. The following is just a portion.
- Amen. The only part of a prayer that everyone knows.
- Choir. A group of people who singing allows the rest of the congregation to lip-synch.
- Incense. Holy smoke.
- Jonah. The G-Rated version of “Jaws”.
- Justice. When your kids have kids of their own.
- Magi. The first three men to ever attend a baby shower.
- Pew. A medieval torture device still found in some churches.
- Ushers. The only people in church who don’t know the seating capacity of a pew.
- Mercy. What worshipers give one another by turning off their cell-phones.
- Manger. Where Mary gave birth to Jesus because Joseph had no medical insurance.
- Ten Commandments. The most important Top Ten List not given by David Letterman. Also more important than any of the lists he gives.
- Religious relic. A person who has been going to church for so long that he/she knows all the responses. -DJ
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