Presbyterians have a well-deserved reputation for being cheap, but not on Valentine’s Day! An elder of St. Penurious Presbyterian Church of Parsimonious, Pennsylvania treats his wife to the following ritual every Valentine’s Day. After she cooks supper and they eat her meal, he takes her to the local Walmart. They go to the greeting card section, where he chooses the most expensive valentine and lets her read it. Then they go home.
For her birthday his wife said she wanted to see the world. The man broke down and bought her a globe. She got mad. He said he’d meet her half way. If she’d furnish the ship, he’d furnish the ocean. He’s so cheap that he sewed Baggies into his pockets so he can take soup home from a restaurant.
The man wasn’t always this way. When he was a boy in elementary school, he brought his teacher an apple every morning. He’d let her keep it on her desk until he ate it for lunch.
Prior to becoming a Christian he was into the occult. His fascination ended when he went to a fortune-teller who told him, “For twenty dollars I’ll read your future and you can ask three questions.”
“About what?” he asked.
“About anything.”
“Isn’t twenty dollars a lot of money?”
“Not that much. Now, what’s your last question?”
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